The problem with culture

Posted in Featured, Love & Marriage
The problem with culture

  • Date

    Jun 22, 2009

  • Author:

    Umm Hend.

  • Comments:

    10

jugsWe all know the story: An american (or insert other nationality) woman becomes a muslim, seeks a religious mate, they talk about marriage and make plans, he talks to his family and it all falls apart. Of course the story goes the other way too but let’s make it this way for simplicity sake.

But why?

The reasons vary. She’s not of the same ethnicity. She’s not a virgin. She’s previously married. She has kids. She’s too old. She’s a convert…

But wait, she says, I’m a muslim! I pray. I wear hijab. Allah has forgiven me for pre islam sins. The sahaba were converts too … my ethnicity is of no importance. This doesn’t make any sense.

“A woman is married for four reasons; her wealth, her family, her beauty and her faith. So, marry the one who is religious and you will prosper.” Saheeh al-Bukharee vol.9 no. 132

“I can’t present them with hadith, they know it better than us”

There is no class system in Islam. The Qur’an speaks about human brotherhood and equality as basic precepts: `O mankind, surely we have created you from a male and female, and made your tribes and families that you may know each other (not that you may despise each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is he who is most righteous of you.’ (49:13)

“But it’s custom, it’s culture, I can’t argue with that” he says.

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no superiority of an Arab over a non-Arab, or of a non-Arab over an Arab, or of a white man over a black man, or of a black man over a white man, except in terms of piety. The people come from Adam and Adam came from dust.”

This is a plague on our Ummah. There are sisters who are living alone, who are raising children alone, who are ostracized not only from their native community, but from their Ummah. There are sisters who are in danger of falling into Haram because they are discarded as “not good enough” by their brothers and sisters based on things that are trvial and unchangeable such as skin color, birth and past.

But that’s not Islam!

Islam unites us, Islam brings us down to earth as servants to Allah, equal in our submission, equal in our reward and punishment according to what we do, equal in opportunity for Allah’s mercy and forgiveness and for his wrath. Islam makes us one brotherhood.

Islam teaches us the meaning of unity, that there is no “us and them” there is only “us”

Who are we to argue with that?

Because…

Islam is my government
Sunnah my culture
Hijab is my traditional dress
Salam my language
Unity is my flag
Quran my constitution
Muslims are my people
All land is Gods land

Because..
Their hardship is my hardship
Their tears my tears
Their pain my pain
Their end my end

Because..
When the believers are sick
I am sick
When the religion is weak
I am weak
When the believers oppressed
I am oppressed

Because..
Even if they dont love me
I love them
Even if they dont know me
I love them
Even if they dont accept me
I love them
For their believing
For their crying to Allah
For their hoping
For the mercy of Allah
For the sake of Allah.

That’s why it pains me
When muslims are afflicted
That’s why it pains me
When they are oppressed
That’s why it pains me
When they are misunderstood
Because it isn’t “them” it’s “us”

And that’s why.

(Written by UmmHend 2008)

Post Tags: culture, Marriage, Marwa

Article by Umm Hend

Umm Hend also known as Emma Apple is the Editor in Chief, Founder, Designer and Author here at Muslimas Oasis. See all 107 posts by Umm Hend
The views put forth by our Authors are the views of the individual Authors and do not represent the views of Muslimas Oasis or Editors, Authors, Websites or Organizations associated with Muslimas Oasis.
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Comments

10 Responses to “The problem with culture”

  1. Author Date Comment

    UmmNyla
    		 June 22nd, 2009
    7:29 pm

    Mash’Allah this is such an amazing read habibti!! It is sooo well written and sooooo true. May Allah open the eyes and hearts of those still stuck in their culture to see that prejudice and racism has NO PLACE in Islam….Allahu Akbar!
    Allah Barak Fiki…
  2. Author Date Comment

    Jessica Dawah
    		 June 22nd, 2009
    8:21 pm

    Assalamu Alaykum

    This is so true, and I love the poem you wrote. JazakAllahKhair for posting. Insha’allah this will benefit and educate others.
  3. Author Date Comment

    Umm Afraz
    		 June 23rd, 2009
    12:44 am

    Masha Allah, very well said! I specially love the poem in the end..it speaks for itself!
  4. Author Date Comment

    Mujahada
    		 June 23rd, 2009
    7:58 am

    Beautiful points and lovely poem <3
  5. Author Date Comment

    Sonia
    		 June 23rd, 2009
    9:09 pm

    MashAllah!!! So beautifully written!!!

    Ya Rabb!!! This touches me so much! May Allah open their hearts and mind to Islam. Its so sad that with such great availability of resources to learn (books, internet, seminars, masjids) so many Muslims around the world are continuing to exist in darkness. May Allah guide our Ummah to the right path. Like MLK said in his famous speech “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” and I pray that such day will come to our entire Ummah.
  6. Author Date Comment

    Hanan
    		 June 24th, 2009
    4:34 am

    Excellent poem, really beautiful; thanks so much for sharing.

    You made terrific points and you’re right it does work the other way too. ):

    What is it with those who don’t like this or that ethnic group even when they are muslims too? It’s not a good idea to let those kind of thoughts take over and grown in your heart. What about ‘one Ummah’, ‘one nation’?

    As you pointed out – the answer is there in Quran and Sunnah for those who choose to look there.

    Another thing I find interesting when it comes to marriage – does every ‘good catch’ have to be a medical professional? Do we all need to be financially well off first to marry? Is it any wonder people are marrying late – and you can’t tell me that in all those years of ‘waiting’ to marry, that there aren’t a lot of Muslims who are falling prey to temptation.
  7. Author Date Comment

    Umm Hend
    		 June 24th, 2009
    7:14 pm

    MashaAllah sisters i’m so moved by all of your comments you all bring up great points as well!

    Hanan, the whole medical profession thing is a WHOLE other post huh! SubhanAllah! I so agree it is not only wrong but dangerous to delay marriage for these reasons.

    Amin to all the beautiful adeya!
  8. Author Date Comment

    Durriyyah
    		 June 24th, 2009
    8:00 pm

    MashaAllah UmmHend, you always impress me with your moving words. In such a fitting time, this is really a great article. May Allah bless you in this life and the Hereafter.
  9. Author Date Comment

    Jawharah
    		 June 25th, 2009
    9:03 pm

    Awesomeness mashaAllah! :) I love the post and poem! :)

    Lol, Hanan, the funnier thing is that when Dr. expects his proposal will be accepted simply because he’s Dr., and that his family will get away with any nonsense towards the girls family. Ergh!
  10. Author Date Comment

    Hanan
    		 June 27th, 2009
    12:24 am

    Jawharah – oh, no…I hadn’t even thought that far ahead. Yes, that is ergh!!

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