title: Got Wasiya?

Death is a certainty. Its our destination. Its inevitable and undeniable. Yet human beings tend to associate grieving, sadness, and pain with death. Perhaps that is the reason why vast majority of us shove the thought of death somewhere back in our mind, burried under the daily preoccupation. Most of us don’t think or talk about death until death touches us in some unexpected way such as loss of someone you once know, be it family or friends or beloved celebrity.

Islam teaches us to face death the way it really is, day that is most certain.

“Every soul shall have a taste of death: and only on the Day of Judgement shall you be paid your full recompense. Only he who is saved far from the Fire and admitted to the Garden will have succeeded: for the life of this world is but goods and chattels of deception” [Surah Al Imraan, 3:185]

But can we as change that perception? Can we talk of death and not feel the pain? Can we bring the topic of death forward and discuss it without getting depressed and blue?

Shortly before the start of Ramadan, my husband and I had a thorough discussion of death and our Wasiya. Certainly Allah subhan wa ta’ala already has given us the guidelines of how to distribute wealth after the death of loved ones, such as daughters getting 1/2 of the share that sons recieve etc. But our discussion was much more deeper. We’ve expressed our wishes and desires after our passing and it will be written down in official Wasiya [Will] that my husband and I will prepare soon with help of Muslim attorney who is knowledgble in Islamic Wasiya, inshAllah. My husband expressed his feeling of re-marrying by saying “I know Islam permits us to re-marry after one of the spouses dies, but I don’t want you to re-marry if I die first.” I ask my husband to allow my mother or my aunt to become the mother-figure if I shall die first. May Allah allow my husband and me grow old together and for us to never have to execute any of the discussed matters. But the truth is, Allah knows when our time in this life expires, we don’t. If we let our loved ones know exactly what to do if we are ever faced with the situation it will give our loved ones easier transition.

Certainly if we pay close attention to the words of Holy Quran we will do just that. Once the discussion was over, I got up from the dining table where we were discussing the matter, and I felt my outlook on life has changed completely. The same habits of my husband that would irritate me before the discussion stoped bothering me. Before the discussion I would procrastinate **embarassed** about my 5 daily prayers and would often just pray the fard part of the prayer. After the discussion I am looking forward to prayer time like one would look forward to Iftar. Life feels richer when we are aware of death, and non-trivial matters that we normally fuss about become non-trivial. As we dust off the topic of death and discuss it as a matter fact, we can forgive, love, and live life to the fullest as Quran tells us to live.