good interview. im in p, im the first wife with all the kids lol mashaAllah, me and other wife havent ever met, been 3 yrs but we arent evil to each other or cause bad feelings mashaAllah, being in seperate households works for us and keeping everyones business in the house is key. difficult situation when me and dh married for so long and then this but alhamdulilah its a benefit for them in it, they have a daughter together and my kids adore their sibling. jealousy grief and depression is a harsh thing subhaanAllah. Allah is with the patient ones!
i do know sisters who in p, whether 1,2,3 or 4th and everyones situation is difft, though its one thing I don't quite understand about the thinking of some of my dear sisters in islaam, maybe because I am not the subsequent wife, but i hear this sentiment many times and that is that 'its sunnah when they want to marry other peoples husbands but when he wants to marry another one on her, its haraam'? It's okay to tell the 1st wife just get over it and accept it, while another comes into the relationship, however, if a brother has already made it clear that this is the 2nd time and he wants 4, how can one feel that the have completed everything like to save the best for last? If we look at our Prophet salla Allahu alahi wa salaam we can see all difft situations. Aisha radi Allahu anha was the most favored of many wives AFTER her and was at the same time was the MOST jealous of the Khadija radiAllahu anha. All women are going to feel jealous. I personally had to speak to subsequent wives to find out if they actually felt jealous lol, because I couldnt understand how when at the time, my thinking was like'well you picked it for yourself, or you knew what you were going into'. Now being in it dealing with the ups and downs, its a reality-ALL women feel jealous, but its just how we react to it that can benefit or harm us. Maybe some sistas get jealous and fight husband or other wife, or maybe another sister gets jealous and goes makes wudhu and pray to her Lord (Who really is the ONly ONe who can change the Hearts). Sorry for being longwinded. Please forgive me for anything offensive I might have written.
OH I had a question for the sister who was in the interview- Why did you feel such an intense need to be accepted and welcomed by the first wife??? Why did it hurt you when she spoke to you briefly?
Ok one last one- smile- how should a wife feel when the subsequent wife comes into the relationship not wanting anything at all to do with the first wife or the kids? DO you think this is disrespectful or to put up a wall? What about if both wives want nothing at all to do with each other- what do you think about that?

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As-Salam Alaikum,

Another beautiful polygamy experience sister Sonia. I am glad to hear that there still remain some good out of this delicate subject. Smile.

Beautifully said Gonxhe. I am stunned to hear from so many sisters with strong faith. MashAllah.

Subhannallah! I am sorry to hear this sisters Umm S and Ladyinblack. Unfortunately, yes, there are a lot of problems in the West with polygamy. That is why I am so grateful its going soooooooooo smoothly. I have gotten even closer to my co-wife. Alhamdullillah. Just do your parts as I always say and you will get rewarded insahAllah. I just couldn't stand thinking about not being a great big family with my co-wife. It just wouldn't work. I am too sensitive. That is why we must always make Istikarah before entering a situation. I did that and relied on Allah and He never lets me down even after He gives me a test. I pray that your husbands find the right sisters next time inshAllah or just stay in monogamy. Whatever is good for all of you in the dunyah and most of all, the Akhirah. AMEEN.