title: Responsibility on Parents
”Children are a product of the influence that their parents have on them and Allah is going to ask parents about that influence on Judgment Day.” (Beshir 2007)
This is crucial in the Islamic upbringing. Parents cannot be passive. We will be held responsible for the upbringing of our children. A lot of things depend on us. How do we act as parents? Are we good examples? Do we act as we tell our children to act?
Children always have and always will look up to their parents mashaAllah and will thereby find guidance in what to do as Muslims and what to expect. How can you teach a child not to lie if the child hears you say when someone calls, that you’re not home, and yet you are? We have to be very careful about what we say and do in front of our children. They rely blindly on you to be their guide as long as they are small and that is where the foundation is being built mashaAllah.
How can you teach your children that it is obligatory to pray 5 times a day and yet you sit in front of the TV when it is time for prayer? We need to think and be aware of our actions. We will not only have to face Allah subhanahuwa ta’ala on Judgement Day and be held responsible for our own actions. If what you did affected your children in a negative way, you’ll also be held responsible for that as well.
Communication
Another thing I would like to address is the way we communicate.
Do we treat each other kindly? If you yell at your children you cannot be surprised that one day they might yell back. On the other hand if you tell them gently not to do things, then if your child one day yells or says something bad to you, you might ask “Have you ever heard me say that to you?” and thereby the child will gain the experience – provided by a good example – not to do so.
Behavior
All mums who’ve had children in daycare will at some point experience that the child brings some negative behavior back home. It might be hitting for instance and that needs to be addressed right away. Firmly remove the child’s hand and explain, with the age of the child in mind, that we do not hit each other. We have been blessed with a mouth to speak and so we can tell the other one why we are angry. That way the two can come to a peaceful solution inshaAllah.
Admit your mistakes
Another thing I find very important to stress is that we admit when we have made a mistake. Do not be afraid to say “I’m sorry” to your child if you yelled or the like. The child will admire you and will learn that it is ok to make mistakes but we are still being loved for whom we are mashaAllah. You might say “I don’t like what you did (hitting your sister), but I still love you.” That way you show that it is the action you disapprove of and not the child. We have to remember that to err is human.
Comments
5 Responses to “Responsibility on Parents”
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Amina
1:52 am
Asalamu aliakum,
MashaAllah, UmmIn, I really liked this article. Jazaki Allah koli khair :) Keep it up, inshaAllah <3
Maryam
9:51 am
mashaAllaah, really great advice sis! Jazakillahu khayran!
Abigail
2:18 pm
Good article, one never knows how important our children are and how we should treat them. In behalf of their future
Durriyyah
2:52 pm
MashaAllah, great article and great reminder for us all! InshaAllah we can be the best examples to our children and raise them as pious Muslims. Ameen.
Mariam
4:48 am
Jazak Allah khair! Great reminder. :D May Allah help us to be better parents and role models for others. Ameen.