title: That’s not Hijab!
We’ve all been there, you see a sister in skin tight jeans with a teeny scarf barely wrapped around her head, you judge and sometimes, if you’re bold enough, you set her straight. As a new muslim, I wrote an article about Hijab, Alhamdolillah I helped a few sisters to adopt the hijab but I burned many bridges. Perhaps I thought everyone should be at the same place of acceptance and understanding that I was, for certain I did not yet realize that Muslims are like everyone else, imperfect and prone to err.
All too often we see well meaning sisters (and brothers) approaching hot button issues like this without the necessary delicacy or the understanding of the other side of the story (or perhaps not realizing there is another side) We see serious and fragile issues approached with condescending humor or outright attack. But at what expense?
Hijab is Fard (Obligatory)
It’s right there plain for all to see in the Qur’an. Even most our sisters in the skin tight jeans know that and there is no sugar coating here. Hijab, is fard.
The word “Ignorant” is thrown around so often I think most of us are desensitized to it. It has almost become a way to make those we are “correcting” faceless, to make our judgments impersonal and remove the sense of responsibility we should have over our words. Because it’s them that’s ignorant, we’re just educating them, after all, hijab is obligatory! It’s not a choice.
There is this hadith to remind us to own our words, we are responsible for each and every one:
Abû Hurayrah relates that Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak a good word or remain silent. And whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should show hospitality to his neighbor. And whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should show hospitality to his guest.” [ Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim ]
And this Ayah (verse from the Qur’an)
“No good is there in much of their private conversation, except for those who enjoin charity or that which is right, or bring reconciliation between people. And whoever does that seeking Allah’s pleasure, then We shall grant him a great reward.” [ Sûrah al-Nisâ' : 114]
Together this Hadith and Ayah teach us to speak what is right, with good words. If we speak up about hijab and what consists of proper hijab, and we guide someone to the decision to wear it Alhamdolillah! We get a great reward for that. If we speak up about hijab in a way that is not inviting and drive someone away from it, Allahu A’alam (God knows best).
Be Gentle as the Prophet was.
Most of us have read the “humorous” Hijab article describing various types of incorrect hijab with silly nicknames and analogies. I’m sure the authors intentions were not bad, but the affects could be serious. Rather than encouraging sisters towards correct hijab, educating them in the importance, the meaning, the beauty of Hijab it essentially alienates them and makes fun of their interpretations of or attempts at hijab. This will not soften any hearts or guide anyone to the humble and wise beauty that is Hijab.
Thus it is due to mercy from God that you deal with them gently, and had you been rough and hard-hearted, they would certainly have dispersed from around you (Qur’an 3:159)
It is not easy to reserve judgment when we consider a concept so easy, so basic and so fundamental however the manner of the Prophet peace be upon him was not to embarrass and ridicule but to approach in a careful way so as to soften hearts and guide people to what is right.
A bedouin urinated in the mosque and some people rushed to beat him. The Prophet said, ‘Leave him alone and pour a bucket of water over it. You have been sent to make things easy and not to make them difficult‘ (Al-Bukhari)
Islam is a Journey
One thing I think a lot of us forget is that Islam is a journey.
Think of it as a road with almost a billion people walking on it. The one who walks faster is further along, the one who started later is further behind, each person is at a different place on their individual journey. If they fall, our job is to offer a hand up, if they have lost their map, our job is to offer ours as a means of guidance.
Islam was revealed to Muhammad peace be upon him over 23 years, during that time Allah offered transitional laws that were later abrogated, laws were given as the community matured, not all at once. This is not a reason for us to be lazy and take our time with perfecting our character, but it is a reason for us to understand the journey and to accept that everyones understanding and practice will change and evolve over the course of their lives, it’s not for us to dictate the journey each person takes, that is with Allah.
What’s the story?
Everyone has one. Reasons behind what they do and don’t do, things they find difficult deep down in the pit of their stomach, things that mind over matter doesn’t even begin to touch. I have a vast collection of my own. Something I try to remember when talking to anyone, about anything, is their story and how little I know of where they come from and what makes them tick the way they tick, I simply don’t know where their heart is at any given time. Even the hardest heart, is still a beating heart.
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15 Responses to “That’s not Hijab!”
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Posted by Emma Apple
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Posted on
Jan 12, 2010Rate
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Linda
12:01 am
I've been doing a lot of thinking about hijab lately, and I keep coming to the same road block between not wearing it and wearing it.
I live in New York. There are many Muslim women here who do cover. Some with headscarf, some with full niqab.
What I find, is that covering at all draws a LOT of attention to them. People stare. People make comments.
Isn't the entire idea behind hijab to "blend in" so that we do NOT have attention drawn to ourselves?
See, I know we are supposed to cover our goods Islamically, but what if doing so, rather than keeping attention off of you, puts more attention onto you? Doesn't that then defeat the entire purpose of hijab and thus make wearing it senseless?
I am not anti-hijab in any way, shape, or form. I am simply stating the way I look at it. I really am not convinced that I would be doing myself any good if I chose to wear hijab. If anything, I think MORE people would look at me, because I would stick out like a sore thumb (especially since I am obviously not of Middle Eastern descent).
Anyways, good article. :)
Sisterinhijab
1:27 am
Ma Sha Allah sister, first time I hear a different view in admonishing about Hijab. You are right we are all on a different journey in our deen, some start early and some start later. So we can not all arrive at the same time. I remember when I start wearing hijab, just stepping into my teens, I start wrapping my head with a scarf initially and progressed up till now that I wear a full covering Jilbab. There are lots of challenges along the way, opposition from different sides and each of us have our own way of dealing with it. No one knows what the other person is going through, judging people in this regards defeat the purpose.
Durriyyah
2:15 am
MashaAllah, great points you covered and such a great reminder for us all. We never know what the other person is going through. I've talked a sister who said she used to wear abaya, but is dressing more "western" lately because she felt she was hiding her insecurities behind it and wearing it for the wrong intentions. SubhanAllah, I would have never thought that would be a reason, but we learn every day and open our eyes more inshaAllah.
Sophie
8:21 am
I totally agree; I now wear niqab and full head to toe jilbab or something similar; and to be honest what put me off dressing more like this in the past were the very sisters dressed like I do now; because they were so scathing and judgemental. Most of the time I've been Muslim I have worn an abaya or coat style jilbab of some type but I will never forget the time those niqabi sisters looked me up and down and said 'oh I see you're wearing the COAT now' like it wasn't a proper form of hijab, I dread to think how they judged sisters wearing western clothing and hijab or those who were wearing their hijab incorrectly. Sadly though in many circles hijab has become like a fashion; I have known many sisters who have abandoned the salah (if they ever prayed at all), yet they wear hijab because everyone else does and it does seem to be on the increase. Those who bother about women not wearing the hijab correctly really should think about whats going on behind the scenes; often they would find the sister needs to learn her aqeedah and establish the salah first; then everything else would fall into place InshaAllaah…
Umm Hend
9:03 am
MashaAllah sisters Jazakom Allahu khairun for your fantastic responses!
Linda, that's something that keeps a lot of sisters from wearing hijab, I've heard that argument over and over and often about niqaab as well. It's a valid concern, but to a point, it really is more worry than it's worth. I live in a big city and have not had any issue with getting more attention with hijab (I think small towns are worse for this as hijab is not as common) if you talk to other sisters wearing hijab in big cities I'm sure you'll find harassment is not as common as you think.
Getting negative attention for your hijab absolutely does not defeat it's purpose, it's purpose is not simply to make us invisible but is a protection of our modesty in whatever interactions we have with others in public. If it were to defeat the purpose then Allah would have specified when hijab is and is not commanded, muslims are not treated worse now and are not any more strange than they were at the time of Muhammad (peace be upon him) so it was as much of an issue then as it is now.
Also don't forget the glad tidings that Muhammad gave to the strangers.
Anyway, thanks for your honesty sis :)
Sophie, the hijab-as-fashion is certainly an issue as well (and not to be confused with creating an individual style within the requirements of hijab) but I think you hit it right on the nose when you said the issue is much more than how a sister wears or understands hijab.
Jennifer Kabir
4:30 pm
Hijab when worn for the sake of Allah has it's own reward. Yes, sometimes people will stare but in the scheme of things it's my eeman that matters!
Umm Hend
4:55 pm
MashaAllah sis I couldn't agree more. I love your blog mashaAllah mabrook on it's launch looking forward to seeing more from you.
Jennifer Kabir
6:17 pm
Jazak Allah sister. I'm loving muslimasoasis!
Pam Mace
7:36 pm
what a great article Em! i know it was hard for me as a mother when you began wearing hijab (tho you had always covered your body, way before becoming muslim!)
i'm loving the website as well, great ideas and well expressed.
most of you know, i'm sure, that i am the mother of ummhend, am not muslim, but i support the beliefs and enjoy learning more about life in islam.
hard to accept at first, now all my fears are gone.
i LOVE the new layout too.
good wishes to you all.
PS:i love seeing the quotes about being gentle with others, we should all live that way!
Umm Hend
8:25 pm
Thank you so much Mum! I am truly honored to have you participating at Muslimas Oasis and sharing your unique perspective, you have a lot to offer and I'm very excited about having you on the Author/Interview side of the blog soon.
Everyone, any good you see in me and what I write is from Allah and next, from my precious mother. I simply cannot wait to share her story with you all.
Sonia
3:48 am
MashAllah! What a great article, and great points. Its nice to see you here Mrs. Mace!
I just wanted to point out about the harassment. I live right in the center of the city, there are 3 mosques within walking distance of my home, and many Muslims. Yet I have experienced harassment more often than I imagined I would get when I started wearing hijab. From punks driving by me in their car sticking their head out and yelling at me "Go back home you terrorist b****" to bus driver singling me out in the bus and making me and my kids give up our seat for white couple with a child (when there were plenty of other young women whom bus driver could have bothered) to our own Muslims and Muslimahs either thinking you are an extremist or modernist. I am not saying this to deter any sister from wearing hijab, I'm just saying you have to have strong determination, will and support to keep going.
Melissa K
12:11 am
Great article UmmHend!
As for those sisters living in a big city—Hijab is NOT as hard as you think. I have done it. Yeah once in a great while you will get someone rude to deal with but that is rare. Dallas/Ft. Worth is a HUGE city and I wore it everyday there. NOW, smaller cities are way more difficult trust me. My hometown in Texas has a population of under 3,000 people and 90 percent of them are ethnically white christians. I remember being soooo unbelievably nervous going back home to visit the first time after wearing hijab. I got a few comments but you know what—I had 3 older ladies that questioned me on WHY I would choose to wear this there in that town (ie, as in everyone knew me and why cover up when they know what I look like). I explained simply my beliefs and the reason I chose to wear it. After that those 3 ladies defended me if anyone chose to make fun of or question me about it. Amazing right? These 3 ladies by the way are the “matriarchs” of the First Baptist and the Methodist churches there in town. I still get some funny looks but 90% of the people usually ask me gently somehow as to why I am wearing hijab or how I put it on. :) I look at it as a form of dawah—it gives me a chance to show them what real Islam is like–not what is falsly portrayed on TV. :)