title: Returning the Peace

I was in downtown Chicago today and there seemed to be Hijabi’s everywhere! MashaAllah, there were at least 4 of us in one Subway getting lunch. It was wonderful to see so many Muslim sisters as just another part of the magnificent canvas on Michigan Avenue. One thing most Muslim women will tell you, is that hijab is unifying, it brings us together, it identifies us as same, as sisters, it should make the Salam (the greeting of Peace) easy between us.

But it doesn’t.

Why not?

Whether it’s a feeling of superiority or inferiority, an indifference, a strangeness or maybe even a case of realism, I don’t know.

I’ve heard some pretty horrific stories of discrimination between Muslims. A Black sister in Niqaab told to go back to her church and stop trying to act Arab – by Arabs, by Muslims! A revert/convert sister told that she will never be as good as even a non-praying born Muslim because she was not born into a Muslim family or raised Muslim. Then there’s the Hijab discrimination. Whether it’s the color, the length, the looseness, the style, the opaqueness, the brand, the whatever.

The indifference, ‘I don’t know you and so, I don’t care about you or what we have in common.’ this may play a part in the lack of peace between us. We’re strangers, even among our own family and there’s no trust in the unknown, what plagues society is closer to home that we’d like to think, so maybe this is a sad but honest case of realism.

It’s personal.

For me, it helps to remember how long it took and how much it took, to get to where I am today. If you meet me on the street, I’ll be the first to stare at you until you look at me and then smile and say a probably mispronounced ‘Asalamualekom!’. But it has not always been this easy, truth be told, it still isn’t easy.

In high school, I lost friends because I didn’t return their greeting in the morning, I was afraid to tell them I avoided people in the morning so I didn’t have to speak to them, I was afraid my voice would come out strangely because I had just woken up not long before. I still find it difficult to speak loud enough in public for people in stores to hear me. I find social exchanges fairly daunting most of the time and that includes giving and returning Salam.

So when I was new to Islam, I only returned Salams, I never gave them. Then I’d only give them if the recipient held eye contact and smiled. Now, all you have to do is look at me and I’ll give you both a smile and a Salam, and if you don’t return it, I’ll be honest, there is still a sense of rejection and embarrassment, but I’m to the point now that it’s Ok. I take comfort in the reward I get for giving Salam and Sadaqa (charity) in the smile I offered you. Not only that, I make excuses for you, maybe you didn’t hear me, maybe you’re miles away thinking about something important, maybe you’re having a bad day, maybe you too are a little afraid of the social exchange.

I hope one day we’ll all have the courage to return the peace, and spread it beyond ourselves, it would mean a better world.

I heard Al-Bara’ bin ‘Azib saying, “The Prophet orders us to do seven things and prohibited us from doing seven other things.” Then Al-Bara’ mentioned the following:–
(1) To pay a visit to the sick (inquiring about his health),
(2) to follow funeral processions,
(3) to say to a sneezer, “May Allah be merciful to you” (if he says, “Praise be to Allah!”),
(4) to return greetings,
(5) to help the oppressed,
(6) to accept invitations,
(7) to help others to fulfill their oaths.

Bukhari (Volume 3, Book 43, Number 625)