title: One Muslimah’s Ramadaan Diary

There are very few opportunities in life where we are able to see a situation from both sides of the looking glass. Our upbringing, our environment, our ethnicity, and our religion are all factors that contribute to how we perceive things; our point of view. Luckily for me, Islam is one of those few things that I have had the opportunity to experience from both sides.

For 26 years of my life I lived as many average American girls live, born and raised as a “default” Christian (in other words not technically practicing, but still celebrating Christian holidays) probably coming into contact with a few Muslims here and there, but never being in close enough proximity with one to ever really learn too much about Islam or its followers. I can remember knowing a Muslim while in grade school, and knowing he didn’t eat pork and he went to church on Fridays, but that was about it. All I cared about was that he was a good friend, an excellent student, and had a nice family and that was enough for my twelve year old mind.

Then, in late 2004 this all changed. I met my husband through a friend of mine who was Syrian. (she was Christian so I still hadn’t learned anything about Islam at this point, but had learned quite a bit about Middle-Eastern culture) He was my neighbor, quickly became my best friend and confidante, and eventually I fell in love with him. I knew he was Muslim but at the time he wasn’t practicing, so although I knew that Muslims said a lot of words with “Allah” in them and that they didn’t eat pork, that was about the extent of my knowledge of Islam.

Then, one day it happened. At the time I didn’t know why, but I started to read. I devoured any book about Islam, Prophet Muhammad (saws), and Muslims that I could get my hands on. I would write a list of questions I had, and pester my husband’s mom, aunt, or anyone else who would listen until they would answer them. It was as if a fever had consumed my body and my mind, and I could not shake it off. I knew this was the Truth.
Alhamdulillah (Praises to God) I took my Shahada (testament to believing in Islam) in May of 2006, and have never looked back since. There have been times my imaan (strength in my belief of Islam) has been high, and times it has been low, but not once have I ever questioned my decision to convert. Because, you see, it wasn’t a decision. I had no choice in the matter whatsoever, that choice was made for me long before I was even born.

Throughout my few years as a Muslim I have encountered many interesting, uncomfortable, joyous, frustrating, and inspiring experiences with non-Muslims. Most people I encounter are curious to know where I am from, due to my light complexion hidden under the folds of my hijab (headscarf). Some people have approached me with pity, sharing their sorrow that my father or my husband forced me to wear all of this clothing that I, in fact, choose to wear every day when I am outside of my house. There are those who are too afraid to speak, and just stare at me in disbelief, awe, or even with fear in their eyes. I have had some people, (even those who were born Muslim themselves) confront me with questions, accusations, and concerns about Islam and their opinions of it. I have had family members, friends, and strangers alike whisper things behind my back that hurt my feelings, angered me, and make me sad because I know they have been fed years of misinformation about the beautiful religion that I love so dearly.

It is for these people that I have chosen to do this diary. My intention is not to point fingers, or embarrass anyone who may have misunderstood or been uninformed about any topics I discuss. My intention is not to pass myself off as a scholar of Islam or as the perfect Muslim, because Allah knows I am far from either of those things. My intention is not to try to persuade anyone to convert to Islam, as this is a decision that only you can make. My intention is simply to take a few topics that I have gathered from both Muslims and non-Muslims alike and try my best to separate fact from fiction. I will, of course, share all of my sources for information I have collected, as well as express my opinions or thoughts regarding the subject at hand. I will insh’Allah (God willing) do my best to write not just with my fingers but with my heart; for this is the heart that Allah (swt) opened those years ago, and this is the heart that I love Islam so dearly with. Insh’Allah (God willing) my posts will be interesting, entertaining, informative, and most of all beneficial to all those who read them, whether Muslim or not. Insh’Allah you all will enjoy my Ramadaan Diary.