Mommy Myths

I thought I was the only one who had rough days, kids screaming, food needed to be cooked, house work is more work than ever and everything feels like it is too much. I thought I was alone. Like no one understood, but I wasn’t. I thought I was the only one who felt like crying some days but I wasn’t. I thought I was the only one that did not have it all together, but I wasn’t. What I thought wasn’t the reality. The reality is: Moms have a lot to do, we are one person accomplishing several jobs.

There is a difference between the moms who get the job done and the ones who fall behind in everything. As soon as I realized that I am not alone in this remarkable role called motherhood, I began to look at other moms who are accomplishing a lot but keeping it all together. They became my inspiration, and my counsel. Here are the myths and facts for us moms.

Myth: Every Mom Has It All Together Except You.

Fact: Not every mom has a perfect day but some mom’s handle it better than others. While it appears they have perfect days, the fact of the matter is no one has a perfect day, every day , all day –where nothing goes wrong. Those moms who look like they have perfect days, know how to handle the bumps and problems that come along in their day. Those moms do not let life’s hang up, make them hang up their apron and sulk and complain. No, they have a positive attitude and make the best of the situation, not let the situation get the best of them.

Myth: You aren’t made for this job.

Fact: Allah blessed us with this special role and some women may never experience this wonderful role called motherhood. We need to look at all our duties as blessings and not burdens. I remember hearing Dr. Wayne Dyer saying in his talk one day, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” So instead of saying “Oh God, I have to change your pamper again!” say “Alhamdulilah I get to change my son’s pamper.” there is a different feeling and different energy behind it. One is done with regret and the other is done with love. Look at your job in a loving way. You were entrusted with precious gifts from Allah, what better way to treat this responsibility if not with love?

Myth: I’m not a good mom

Fact: The fact you want to become better is a start to becoming a better mom. You are a good mom, your heart is inclined to give your family the best and because you feel as though you are not doing well in the task shows your heart is in the right place and it is only a matter of turning to Allah and sincerely asking Allah to better your situation. Ask Allah to send those your way who can be a source of comfort and inspiration. We all have our “I’m not a good mom” moments but don’t live in that moment. Snap back to reality, because that feeling does not get the job done, it doesn’t make you feel good, it doesn’t fold laundry and it just brings you down and everyone else around you.

Let’s face the facts and turn our backs on the myths. Let’s take care of our families with love and gratitude and not with frustration and regret. At the end of the day, go to bed knowing you are striving to do your best and pray that with each day that passes you get better and better. Pray that when you feel overwhelmed you handle it with grace and always take time out to regroup and then get back into the day. No mom is perfect, we all work hard and inshaAllah we pray in the end our Lord rewards us for our dedication and loving work.