(reprinted from In Search of the Crystal Stair by R. Abdur Rahim 2004)

Fatimah and her son were prepared to leave for a pilgrimage to the Holy City of Mekka. She had made three previous pilgrimages to the Holy City in Saudi Arabia. She realized that Hajj was an obligation and a goal for all able bodied Muslims to fulfill at least once in their life, if they could afford the journey. Fatimah intended to perform this Hajj for her mother, who had never made Hajj.

Her mother had been dead nine years now, and Fatimah decided  to make this (her fourth Hajj) for her mother. Somehow, Fatimah felt that this would be her final Hajj. She had prepared for this pilgrimage very carefully. She put all of her personal affairs  in order . She had made out her will, paid her bills, and made sure that any other problems had been taken care of. In her suitcase, along with other items for travel, she carried a white cotton dress, large white scarf and a pair of simple white shoes. She also carried her medicine which she now had to take daily for her blood pressure.

Fatimah wasn’t sure if she would be as physically fit as she was when she had made her last Hajj almost twenty years ago. She sighed as she remembered that she had gotten sick the last time and almost had to remain in Jeddah. She had gone to Saudi Arabia with a group of Muslims from America and Canada. It had been exceptionally hot that year, and the heat had to taken its toll on her. She wasn’t  able to quench her thirst no matter how much water she drank. Fatimah had heat exhaustion. Her temperature had risen quickly though she swallowed the warm water in big gulps, and even though it was warm, she didn’t care. Fatimah was unable to cool off. The guides finally put her in an air conditioned room at the lodging hall, and a wonderful Chinese Muslim sister  from Canada, who was also a nurse, had volunteered to sit with her. The sister, Kareema, sat all through the day encouraging Fatimah, to drink liquids and helping her get up to walk to the bathroom to throw up. “That sister  was really like an angel, I think I would have died if she hadn’t helped me,” remembered  Fatimah.

So, this time, Fatimah wondered if her health would hold up for the rigorous rituals of the Hajj. The walking in the hot sun, moving from place to place at appointed times and foods that she wasn’t accustomed to. She would just have to put her trust in Allah (God) to help her.

Check back for Part 2 soon inshaAllah!

I was a supervisor/manager for nine years in different industries. The most recent one was an Internet Service Provider (ISP) where the job was very high stress, most times very high paced as well. We provided services across the country, and even some services to clients in various countries such as the UK, Australia, UAE, Singapore, etc. I worked hard at the bottom of the ranks and worked my way up, as I’ve done in each company I’ve worked for. I knew what I was doing and people came to me for answers. I solved problems and created solutions. There were far more important people than me at the company, don’t get me wrong… I wasn’t a make or break person.

Working in the IT industry (computers), it took work for me to get any respect as a female in the field. I will never forget a training we had on the corporate firewalls and I mentioned that I had been fulfilling customer requests for quite some time. The engineer looked at me as if I had put an apple on top of his mom’s head and said I was using it as target practice. When I would meet with customers and clients, I could tell it took a bit of time for them to warm up to the idea that yes, I knew what I was talking about and that I would contact someone else if I in fact needed assistance. Interviewees were fairly consistently surprised at one of two pictures – One or two tall, large men walk in with a petite woman and sit down with you for your interview. The woman is the one who asks you the vast majority of the questions, and she isn’t with Human Resources, she would be your supervisor. OR Two women walk up to you to start the interview. These are the two supervisors for the Technical Support position you’re applying for.

Then I started wearing hijab. It felt like I had to prove myself all over again, especially when meeting with clients. I had already pushed through and worked twice as hard to prove to people that I had what it takes, and now I had to do it all over again. Rumors spread on why I was wearing the headscarf. People were distracted in meetings. It appeared that my team of technicians tested me all over again to find if there were new boundaries now. I pushed through it and we all found that nothing really had changed.

During all this time, I am a mother as well. I would bring my daughter to school and pick her up around 6pm each night. We would rush home, eat a dinner I could prepare fairly quickly, maybe play a game for 30 minutes before she had to get in the shower and get to bed. I did my best, but there was definitely room for improvement in terms of patience with my beautiful daughter, mashaAllah. I was always tired and I wanted to do nothing more than sleep in on the weekends and not get out of my pajamas. I went to school full time as well, staying up late into the night working on homework to complete my Bachelor’s Degree. MashaAllah, I was working hard and I had respect. People felt that I was a capable individual.

Then I got married, and less than two months later we both got laid off. They eliminated our position. They didn’t need middle management.

I looked for work for a period of time, but we took this as Allah’s blessing to us that I can stay home and start homeschooling. MashaAllah, I was so happy for this new period in my life, our lives. Little did I know that the respect that people once had for me would fade. I was no longer capable and worthy of respect in many people’s eyes. I now was lazy and wasting away the education I had worked so hard for. I was working again to prove myself to everyone that I was worth it, and that I was doing something worth while, and worthy of respect. For some, it didn’t work.

My husband found a job in the exact role he was looking for, mashaAllah, and this is when it dawned on me… maybe I’m not doing anything worth while. Am I doing anything that someone without a middle school education couldn’t do? My things to get done today? Clean the floors, vacuum, write this piece, work on some lessons with my daughter, and possibly respond to a few blogs I feel obliged to respond to. What happens if I don’t do any of these things and I just watch TV all day? Nothing. What makes this special, or worth while? Why do I deserve respect for what I’m doing?

The fact is that in our culture, a woman staying home to care for her family is not respectable. We see it as something that uneducated women do because day care would cost more than her paycheck would be. So what about me? I have an undergraduate degree and experience that would make me a nice salary, growing with time. Islam tells us different though. Being a mom and wife is worthy of a great amount of respect! We are educating and supporting our future generations and we are supporting the current people working in our communities (our husbands) in their worthy efforts. When I was given the opportunity to do so with all of my attention, the quality of the support I gave became far better. I no longer was rushing my beautiful daughter through her life and losing my patience because I had numerous other things on my mind and bothering me from work, school, traffic driving to either, etc. When my husband comes home, he does not have to think about the work he then has to get done after he leaves his day job.

Our lives feel balanced and complete, even if I had to check my ego at the door. What is more important, my pride and respect earned from external sources, or being the loving support I can be for my family? I feel that I am more greatly pleasing Allah now as I am able to dedicate more time to worship, learning, volunteering, and teaching. Am I saying that working mothers are less than stay at home mothers? No. But I find that I feel a greater sense of accomplishment in being a mother and wife now that I don’t have to juggle a corporate job along with everything else.

It takes time to find a new normal. It takes time to find a sense of accomplishment in these new duties, but it is there. Alhamdulilah for the guidance from Islam that shows us how valuable it is to be a wife and mother. We don’t need to be “little men” to do something worth while.

The fact is, that we don’t live in a rural society anymore, and we are going to step on each others toes. We must look towards the middle path which means not accepting anything in order to not hurt anyone’s feelings, nor should we distance ourselves from anyone different from ourselves. We are commanded to speak up, but we should choose our words carefully.

“Let there be a community among you who call to the good, and enjoin the right, and forbid the wrong. They are the ones who have success.” [Qur'an 3:104]

And as the “different” ones, we can’t hide our religion nor push it in anyone’s face. Simply, we follow the guidelines of Islam in how to conduct our daily lives, and make accommodations when necessary. We can’t please everyone, and it seems we are bound to upset some. How we handle that though can make the world of difference. We must be an active part in our societies and make positive difference and maybe this gap that seems so wide may become more narrow through time, education, care, and understanding.

Remember – you are not God. You don’t know everything. Allow for others to speak and to give their voice respect. You may learn something.

“Jama`ah means a congregation of people who are praying behind one Imam in continuous lines without any barrier or interruption. As for people who pray behind the Imam, they should either see the Imam or see those who are in front of them. There is no Jama`ah when a person is in one room and his/her Imam in another room, the lines are not continuous and the people behind the Imam are also not visible, otherwise people would not have to come to the Masjid for Jama`ah prayer. They would stay home and pray listening to the loudspeakers from their Masjid or through intercoms. They could nowadays even pray Jama`ah prayer in this way in their own homes listening to the prayer broadcasts coming from Makkah and Madinah on their radios, television sets or through the Internet. But no jurists have ever allowed a Jama`ah prayer in this way.”

“Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet said: “The best row for the men is the first row and the worst is the last, and the best row for women is the last and the worst row is the first.” (Muslim)

“Narrated Asma’ daughter of Abu Bakr: I heard the Messenger of Allah say: One of you who believes in Allah and in the Last Day should not raise her head until the men raise their heads (after prostration) lest they should see the private parts of men.” (Abu Dawud)

Yeah, baby! Who’s in?

Definitely, none of us, right! Nobody would click “join group” or “become a fan” of someone who fought the Prophet (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam)! That would be ridiculous and completely unIslamic!

But why, then, do we become fans of other people who do indirectly “fight” what the prophet (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) came with?

Let’s face it. Regardless of whether or not you believe listening to music is halal, anything that has profanity or sexual innuendos is definitely wrong to listen to and goes against the Prophet’s teachings. Can we really picture Prophet Mohammed (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) listening to such music? Obviously, the answer is NO! Similarly, watching uncensored movies that contain inappropriate language and indecent scenes is just not right.

Why, then, do we think that it’s alright to become “fans” on Facebook of the people who make such music or movies? The Prophet (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) clearly told us we will be with the people we love in the Hereafter…or the people we’re fans of . Do we really want to be standing next to everyone we’ve become fans of on the Day of Judgment? How will we be able to tell Allah that we shouldn’t have to share their fate when we’ve clearly told thousands of people we’re fans of them?

Anas (Radiya Allah Anhoo) narrated, “We had never been so glad as we were on hearing that saying of the Prophet (i.e., “You will be with those whom you love.”)

Oh, come on…it’s harmless, you might be thinking. You’re making a mountain out of a molehill. Let me just close this window right now. There are bigger issues that need to be addressed. But this is a major issue that needs to be addressed immediately. How many “ordinary” people get pages made in their name? Honestly, I don’t know. I am pretty sure I don’t have a page. My mother doesn’t one have either. My whole family, extended family included, doesn’t either. I’m guessing we’re not the only ones. In fact, I’m sure that the number of ordinary people who have pages is not significant because “everyday folks” just haven’t done that much to earn them global recognition. This means that when we become fans of people, we’re actually becoming fans of whatever it is they’ve contributed to society. (Sure, we may criticize a few bad choices they’ve made, but if we’ve become fans of them, that probably means that on the overall, we admire their work.) And this is where the real problem is…How can we as Muslims become fans of such work? How can we possibly excuse the fact they contain stripping, men and women being sexually active, vulgar language, offensive jokes, etc?

One of the ayahs that frightens me the most in the Quran is….

“And when you are greeted with a greeting, greet with a better (greeting) than it or return it; surely Allah takes account of all things. (86)” (Surah Al Nisaa, Ayah 86)

This ayah is such a potent reminder that every single thing we do we’re going to eventually be judged on. Subhan Allah, even whether or not we return a greeting properly will be judged! Doesn’t that mean that every click we make is also going to be judged?

“….and ye thought it to be a light matter, while it was most serious in the sight of Allah.” (24:15)

Every single choice we make has a consequence and becoming a fan of someone who openly disobeys Allah is surely going to have consequences.

The consequences are even more alarming when we put up links to videos of such music or movies. Not only are we saying that we admire these people, but we’re encouraging others to admire them and pass it on. This is extremely dangerous since the Prophet (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said that every person who innovates something bad will have to carry the weight of his sin and the weight of all those who follow him, without lessening their own share. We have enough sins on our own without having to take on ourselves other sins.

Finally, all of us are familiar with the hadith where the Prophet (Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) tells us it’s our duty to change anything wrong we see.

On the authority of Abu Sa`id (Radiya Allah Anhoo) that the Prophet (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said, “Whoever sees something evil should change it with his hand. If he cannot, then with his tongue; and if he cannot do even that, then in his heart. That is the weakest degree of faith.” (Muslim).

That is, we’re supposed to use everything we’ve got to try to change something sinful. When we become fans of someone who openly sins, we are definitely not doing that. In fact, we are basically saying that we don’t even have the weakest degree of faith, which is to abhor the sin.

Can’t we at least try to reach that level?
At the end of the day, the Prophet(sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) doesn’t have a Facebook account, but if he did, would you want him to see who you are a fan of?

When I travel around the world and visit new places I always notice the nature in the country I am. Some countries have mountains others are “flat” and again others have rivers and a lot of water integrated in the city mashaAllah.

But I always come to the conclusion that home is the best mashaAllah. I like to travel and to experience foreign cultures and to enrich my view and to meet other people but I am always happy to get back home.

We have the pleasure of experiencing all four seasons where I live mashaAllah and I thank Allah subhanahuwa ta’ala every day when I take a look outside.

Because of the climate changes we’ve had very mild winters and my memories of winters with a lot of snow are all from my early childhood. Likewise summer is now even more hot than it used to be. Alhamdulilah ala kulli hal – I thank Allah for whatever we are blessed with.

This winter however is so different from other winters mashaAllah. We’ve had a lot of snow and some days we couldn’t even go outside and schools have been closed. And the kids love it mashaAllah. I think it is so beautiful when you wake up one morning and the landscape is all white mashaAllah. It might be –12 C (10 F) but it doesn’t feel like it at all Alhamdulilah. It is so cosy and comfortable. I love the sound of walking on snow – it creates such a crunchy sound and it leaves perfect footprints where you stepped mashaAllah.

Likewise you can watch the birds on their look for food and they hop around in the snow and leave such small prints mashaAllah.

When people tell me that they hate winter and snow and it is only creating a mess I wonder how they cannot appreciate it for just the time being. If we had it all year around I think it would be a different story but the fact is that Allah has given us the chance to witness his creations over and over again. When the trees get fresh green leaves at spring time and flowers blossom in summer and when autumn comes the setting is so different with a lot of different colors mashaAllah and then winter which leaves such a nice cotton-quilt.

Alhamdulilah I just love and appreciate the four seasons mashaAllah and I hope that you too will have the chance to witness the different settings.

Note: ‘MashaAllah’ means “What Allah wills” and is something Muslims say when seeing something they like.

Finally! Our voice would be heard, I thought.

A few minutes later, the gigantic grin on my face had turned to a raised eyebrow and apparent disbelief.

“You want the world to know that your son thinks that you named him after a Qur’anic word but that you really named him after your first crush? That’s what you would tell America if you had the chance? Or that you cheated your way through high school? Why would you want anybody to know that?

And most of all, why would you connect Islam to that?

Needless to say, I was really disappointed. Maybe it was because I was so excited about the video….

But, I honestly believe it was more than that.

It was the fact that this reflected the new phenomenon that so many of us Muslims seemed to have fallen into-
“I just want to ‘fit in’. I just want to be normal-like everybody else.”

Islam never asked us to be ‘just normal’ and like ‘everybody else’. Instead, Islam told us to be strangers, or it praised the strangers. In a well known hadith,the Prophet said:

“Islam began as something strange, and it shall return to being something strange, so give glad tidings to the strangers.”

Not only that, but Islam should make us exceptional; we should never settle for being “normal, just like everybody else”. So many of the things we know today, such as the way blood circulates in the human body (yes, Ibn Al Nafis discovered it more than 300 years before William Harvey), and so many of the things we have, including modern surgical instruments, we owe to the Muslim scientists, engineers, physicians, translators, artists and philosophers of the Islamic golden age (the period that started roughly 120 hundred years after the Prophet’s *sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam* death and continued for around 400 years, when Europe was still in the dark middle ages), who sought to live by Islam’s commandments and who embodied its stress on seeking knowledge.

Howard R. Turner writes:

“Muslim artists and scientists, princes and laborers together made a unique culture that has directly and indirectly influenced societies on every continent.

Thus, Islam should make us leaders of the world. (People should want to copy us! Not us want to copy them.)

It should also make us the first in any community to do good. How many hadiths do we have about caring for the widows, orphans and poor? How many times does the Qur’an associate faith with doing good deeds? If we aren’t doing those deeds, the least we can do is refrain from telling others about our sins and disclosing things like “cheating through highschool”.

Islam doesn’t ask us to be perfect. Only Allah is. But, Islam asks us to regret our sins and to repent from them..not boast about them!

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “My entire nation is safe, except al-Mujahirin (those who boast of their sins). Among the Mujaharah is that a man commits an (evil) act, and wakes up in the morning while Allah has kept his (sin) a secret, he says: “O so- and-so! Last night I did this and that.” He goes to sleep while Allah has kept his (sin) a secret but he wakes up in the morning and uncovers what Allah has kept a secret!” [Saheeh al-Bukhari]

On the other hand, the video also got me thinking about another group of Muslims, who rather than being concerned with “me, me, me/ I just want to fit in”, talk about “Islam, Islam, Islam” but forget about “me” and the fact that their actions represent Islam. It is not enough that we preach to others about the theoretical aspects of Islam. We need to remember that our actions represent Islam. We are “walking manifestations of Islam” and the way we treat our neighbors, the way we carry ourselves, the way we leave/pick up the garbage on the street, the way we talk to others, etc. all represent Islam. As Amr Khalad, the Egyptian da’ee, once said, “in the Western countries, Muslims are ambassadors of Islam”.

It is time that we remember that.

And it is time that we lived by that.

It was only a week ago that the COP15 Climate Conference was being held in Copenhagen, Denmark, and what really disappointed me was the fact that the outcome wasn’t a new agreement, because the leasers of our world couldn’t agree. It is really sad that a country like China, a country that has a huge industry, could prevent a new agreement. The reason? They didn’t want the world to have observers in the country every now and then to make sure that they keep their part of the agreement.

A closed country

China is known to be a close country with a very government-controlled society, where people are afraid to speak up. They don’t like the idea of having the rest of the world in their backyard to keep an eye on things. They think that there should be a trust relationship where there shouldn’t be doubt that they keep their part of the deal. However in my opinion I think that this is in the interest of the entire world, and I cannot understand why one country can block such a deal. It is sad really. One should keep in mind that China is the world’s number 1 in emitting the CO2 in our atmosphere. However China believes that it is the richest countries that should put a limit to the allowed CO2.

The USA

America has a lot of other issues to deal with (poverty among others) and so the climate isn’t the number 1 priority in the Congress. However the USA is the country in the world that emits the most CO2 per inhabitant. President Obama has placed focus on this problem and he speaks in favor of it, while the previous president just ignored the growing problem.

Europe is in the front

The EU has adopted a climate and energy package, which includes that the member countries should collectively reduce their CO2 emissions by 20 percent by 2020 compared with emissions in 1990. It seems like the EU are the most eager to work for a better climate even though it might cost money.

What can we do?

We need to be aware that this world isn’t ours to treat the way we want to. We should bear in mind that future generations will live here as well inshaallah and I sure hope that we, the inhabitants, will make our own contribution.

It does matter what you do in your home. Imagine if we all didn’t use a car just one day a year! What a difference. Do you turn off the water while you brush your teeth? Do you remember to turn off the water when you shower while you add shampoo to your hair? Do you teach your children not to leave the lights on in a room when they walk out? And last but not the least, what kind of light bulbs do you have in your home? Are they energy saving?

I can think of so much we all can do, and you’re most welcome to write your own tips here as a comment or on the forum.

We all need to be aware that we will be held responsible on Judgment Day, and that includes not only prayer but also how we treated the place we were to live.

O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed upon you as it was prescribed on those before you so that you may learn self-restraint [2:183]O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed upon you as it was prescribed on those before you so that you may become pious. [2:183]

So it says in the Quran… We are to fast for a whole month, the month of Ramadan. In Ramadan we fast from sunrise to sunset, we are not allowed to take in any food or drink, we can not be angry, swear, curse and those married can not have sex while the sun is up.

This year, when Ramadan begins around the 22^nd of August, that means from 04:33 to 21:19 (8.19pm) That is actually almost 17 hours. And next year, it will be even later. Until it reaches the “worst” when Ramadan comes in July, it will be fasting from 02:36 until 23:14 (10.14pm) Well, anyway it’s the same, it is only room for two meals. Sohor (before the fasting starts) and Iftar (the meal that breaks the fast) . And not much food either. But Alhamdulillah for that, it is the better way to fast, if you eat too much at Iftar, you will be more hungry during the day. At least I work that way. We are all different, and have different habits in Ramadan.

I never eat pasta or rice in Ramadan, for example. It really kills my stomach to do that , and it also makes me more hungry too. Specially now this year, I think it will be even more important to me to avoid such food, in order to make my Sohor last longer during the day. As I have to, obviously, get some more sleep after Sohor, so that I will not be a zombie at work, I am afraid to wake up hungry again after those couple of hours of sleep. I start work at 8:00 sharp.

The real challenge with Ramadan, is not the food, or the time… The real challenge, is the SPIRIT. The MOOD. The MODUS. That is the though part, when you live as a muslim minority amongst non-muslim majority. Especially for us, who live out in the “village”, in a pretty “Norwegian” neighbourhood. It is a few muslim families where we live, though, and also our landlord is a muslim, Alhamdulillah, so it is better than nothing. But still, there is no SPIRIT. I need to invite sisters over for Iftar, to get that spirit. I need to make every meal a feast, to get into the SPIRIT. It is harder than anything with Ramadan.

We do not have any muslim family. We don’t have anyone we are related to, I mean. We don’t have muslim parents, or muslim in-laws. We are just us. We have to motivate each other. And little by little also motivate the kids to fast. That is the tough part, because they are not surrounded by other fasting kids, almost. Atleast not in the week. In the weekends, they have the school in the Masjid, so then they feel more connected to muslims, Alhamdulillah. It is the first Ramadan in the school of the Masjid this year, we started last year a while after Ramadan. We hope to at least motivate some of the older children to fast, and we teachers are so excited about Ramadan, maybe even more than the kids.

So Alhamdulillah for sister- and brotherhood during Ramadan. People who you hardly ever meet during the year, will invite you for dinners, and neighbours bringing small tastes of their food, to you. MashaAllah, it feels so great to include others in our Ramadan, and to be included in other peoples Ramadan, because we do not have muslim family.

I feel it would be really hard to be a muslim in a non-muslim country if I was living in a city with few muslims, but Alhamdulillah, I am surrounded by muslims, and now it is even better after we started the weekend-school in the masjid, because I see more muslims every week. Almost all the year, not only for Ramadan.

Ok, so Ramadan can be lonely sometimes, but the worst is really Eid. It is so sad to see your kids being the (almost) only dressed up kids in the neighbourhood, the only kids eating cake that day, the only kids getting gifts. That’s why we decided to invite the friends of the kids over for Eid, just like anyone else celebrates birthdays. I hate to see my kids alone on such days, because we don’t have muslim family.

My fondest memory of Eid, are those Eids when we gather lots of reverted sisters and celebrate it together. We all have that in comon that we do not have muslim family, so we buy a lot of presents for each others kids, and then gather at my place usually, and have loads of cakes, candy for the kids, food, and all. The first years, we were really many, and we had an awesome time. I really felt that it actually competed with Christmas, and that we finally could offer our kids something similar to Christmas and birthdays. We still keep this tradition, but we are not so many this year, I think, as many moved. But maybe it is time to invite more sisters to this party. We have to use Ramadan to search for new sisters hehe.

But even if I was the only muslim in town, and despite being the only muslim in my family, I would say that we have a lovely time in Ramadan. We try our best to make each meal special, and we try to make the atmosphere as cozy as possible. And with the help of other muslims around us, we are able to get a small feeling of community, and that is so important, especially in this month of Ramadan.

I know how dismal the whole marriage prospects can be for us single sisters! It can be slim pickins out there! I have had many negative experiences attempting to find Mr. Right. I try (not very hard though) to be patient and not be so desperate that I will end up making a ginormous mistake. I have asked sisters to ask their husband’s to be my Wali, gone on Muslim matramony sites, and IM chatting. Nothing has worked so far.

There have been many times I thought things may be compatible, but subhanAllah was I wrong! Some brothers wanted to get citizenship, others wanted a 2nd + wife for their own sexual pleasure and were not afraid to admit it. I had numerous messages professing their undying love for me, even though it was the 1st contact ever and I had yet to reply! For obvious reasons I removed myself from all online marriage sites. Now I do realize alhamdulilah that there are many sisters who have been guided to successful marriages through these kind of sites. MashaAllah wa Allahu Akbar! I am just speaking from experience so sisters know that they may encounter brothers like the ones I described.

Now though, since I am a revert with no mahram or Wali, I am still single. I began looking for a husband shortly after I took my shahadah, which was almost 3-years-ago alhamdulilah! Since I am a mother to 3 kids, I do know what I am missing! I get really lonely and it is very frustrating at times. Alhamdulilah though for this test Allah has given me. InshaAllah it will be a way to increase sabr and erase some sins. InshaAllah all the Ummah will be granted a wonderful spouse who is pious and will guide each other in Islam.